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Haven't Been My Usual Self

from The TRansplanter by Steve Blaque

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about

Haven't Been My Usual Self was written sometime in 2023 most likely based upon a story I read browsing the internet. Certainly there's nothing autobiographical and yet it probably could work as a template for mine or indeed other's lives.

lyrics

Haven't Been My Usual Self
words n' music Steve Blaque

i haven’t been my usual self
like i’m living a life of someone else
and i can’t put my finger on what is going on
that seems to trigger e’thing that is all very wrong ii i
there’s a ball of trauma
sitting inside of me
rolling/handing out groundhog day cards all for free
and i feel like i’m going nowhere
all roads blocked now and yeah no thoroughfare

Chorus
Is it time
For me to speak to someone else
The whole 9 a mystery
Trying to find myself
Like I’m in a dream
My ID is not me
Is there no one else
To help me find myself

Verse
Overwhelmed might be
An understatement
Coz the problems I feel
Just got no abatement
And I feel like
Just walking walking
away

But I know that there’s
Something deeper
Finding its why through
My doorkeeper
And once its on the inside
There’s no point trying to hide

Middle 8
Was it the taxes that I didn’t pay
Was it the things I said in the wrong way
Was it the anxiety of quitting my job
Was it nothing from the list above
Was it the move I knew I had to make
The one-sidedness of our give n’ take
The yearning deep in my mind
To break out of the shackles for peace of mind

Chorusg
Is it time
For me to speak to someone else
The whole 9 a mystery
Trying to find myself
Like I’m in a dream
My ID is not me
Is there no one else
To help me find myself

credits

from The TRansplanter, released February 2, 2024
Two Tone Horns on Brass Ensemble
Rod Hunt Vocal Harmony
Steve BLaque the other stuff
Matt Larkham Saxophone

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Steve Blaque Beijing, China

Steve Blaque singer, songwriter, Producer and engineer and owner of Darktrunk Recording (formerly Forbidden City Studio Beijing) also performs in an unplugged environment with his favorite flavors of Indie and Grunge. Blaque has always said ''you don't need distortion to be grunge and you don't need twang to be Indie''. ... more

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